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            I just returned from work. I own a warm apartment, have a nice roommate, a girlfriend, good friends and a loving family. I don't live in a rich country but I can pay my bills without worrying will I be able to make it to the end of the month. On the other hand I have a lot to achieve in life, I have many unfulfilled desires and dreams.
            Yet doing all the things I do on a daily basis and spending time with all the people from my life, I often find myself on a strange turf. I've worked, I've enjoyed company of my girlfriend, I did my daily chores and called my parents to see what they were doing the past couple of days, but...I find myself wanting something more. I often find myself thinking about something bigger. Is there something more to life?
            Of course this question was of no importance to us when we were little. Life was too much of a bless to stop and think about deeper things. But as I get older, I find life more and more difficult. I see that most of my days can't no longer be filled with having fun and enjoying myself. I spend more and more time working, cleaning, sorting things out, and life is getting more and more difficult. And that is where this question builds its importance.
            These are verses from probably the world's most depressing song, Johnny Mandel's „Suicide is Painless“:

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger, watch it grin

          As life gets more serious and less fun, i think about something else too. I imagine the world after I'm gone. I was here and so were millions of people just like me, and then I'm gone. What was it all worth? Beside my children, will there be anything left after me? I find myself striving to do something of an eternal importance. I wish for things that are of this importance that will not fade away with years. Of course charity, altruism and similar things have great value but I go even further - all the people I will help in my lifetime will eventually die, and what will stay behind?
            And when I try to return to my daily routine, I see to many pain mixed with life's joys and that leaves me thinking again about something bigger: is there more to life?

2 comments:

  1. "Of course charity, altruism and similar things have great value but I go even further - all the people I will help in my lifetime will eventually die, and what will stay behind?"

    The impact we have in the lives around us can have a domino effect. Smile at someone today. Nothing more than that. It can have a surprisingly positive impact on their day. They'll be a little brighter, a little happier and a little more tolerant than they might have been if no one had smiled at them. They in turn will be more likely to smile at someone else, who will smile at someone else and so forth.

    Just because we do good things for people who will themselves eventually die doesn't mean the chain ends there. Our deeds can live on long after we're gone. Just because we're not there to see the benefit doesn't mean it isn't there.

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  2. True, something will stay behind. Not much, but something.

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